Tuesday, January 25, 2011

3 Months Old!

My sweet girl is three months old today.Time is going way too fast.
Some things she has been doing.. rolling from back to belly yet rarely from belly to back.She has amazing head and neck control.She is staying awake more but taking longer naps.She finally is filling out her 0-3 months clothes! woo hoo!She is talking a lot, like a crazy woman!

I love this kid so much.I will miss this.All of these firsts and new starts.I will miss all of this time that I will never be able to do over.

So I kept dressing her up today to get super cute 3 month pictures.She would either barf on her outfit or fall asleep.Maybe tomorrow.I also ordered her some baby legs and a new cloth diaper (cow print!woo freaking hoo!) from Amazon but they haven't shown up yet. Grrr

Life in general, well we survived the big storms tonight! YAY! I really thought it would be worse than what it was.Thank God it wasn't.I have serious anxiety issues every since we had to run through a tornado on Christmas day after it almost flipped our car a few years back.Every since that day I am much more intrigued by big storms but also way more chicken shit over them too.Can you blame me? I mean, Merry Christmas I almost just died in a tornado isn't the way you greet most people on Christmas day.Thank God someone bought me a shirt that year because I was soaked.
Also I have begun working for a cloth diaper company! YAY ME! I am so very excited about this because it is something I am very passionate about.I hope to bring in some extra money that way..SOOO if you are considering cloth and need some help..come find me!
Well I think that is enough for now.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Natalie Marie

I love love love that my friend caught Natalies big personality in these.

Sunday, January 16, 2011


I turned ^ on 1/13.Seems to be an odd number to me.Maybe because I am an odd person!
What a week.My mom and dad (stepfather) were here for a week and just left today.How awful to have to say goodbye.I really hate it.But it was wonderful to have them here.
So my 26 year old ass is trying to figure out things to do to occupy myself.You know.All of that FREE time I have.
  • I have started getting things together for the dollhouse I am making for N.
  • I am making things out of items we would normally throw away.
  • Having a family friend teach me to sew tomorrow.
  • I have patterns to sew once I know how!
  • Cutting up some old clothes that were stained and can no longer be worn.Instead of tossing them they will be turned into something useful.
  • Making a scrap book for N of N.
Now the biggest thing I have taken up is my new job.Yep.J.O.B.... I guess you could say it's a job.I would love to consider it more of a hobby.I am working with a company selling cloth diapers! How effing exciting!Seriously!I love talking about them and helping people get started so I think this will work out great for me. It isn't a "job" but I will be making money.So I guess it is kinda a job.Oh you get it!
I will post pictures soon and more details of my week later.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

How much is enough?

So, I have been trying to think of something to do for N in the spare time that I don't have.It is official! I am making her a doll house! All from scratch! With a hammer,nails,glue gun and sewing machine!And ofcourse all of the materials needed.
I am so excited about this.I mean REALLY excited. I am trying to put my touch on as much in her room as I can.We were bored with wood colors for furniture so we bought a used changing table and stripped and painted it as well as a dresser. It was a lot of fun when we were done.I want her to know we put a lot of effort into her arrival and having everything perfect for our perfect girl.
I don't know why it matters so much to me to make sure she knows we did everything possible we could do for her.I never want her to look back and say "if they would have just cared..".This is a huge fear of mine. I am scared she will never know how much her father and I love her.What if we die before she is old enough to remember us?Will she know we loved her? I try taking loads of pictures of her laughing and happy.I try to add the personal touch to her room and her accessories.
How much is enough and is there ever too much?Can you love your baby too much? And is this part of the post pardum depression I have been fighting?Does PPD cause you to feel over attached to your baby?Maybe I am just a freak.HA! No need to maybe that one!
I guess no one will ever know how much is enough.But I will do my damnedest to make sure she knows I love her.
So wish me luck on this doll house!And I will post pictures on all progress made.
How's everyone?Anyone have any spur of the moment projects going on?

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Happy New Year!

New years day to me used to mean another year with PCOS.Another year with Endometriosis.Another year of infertility and wishing to God that I could be "normal" and have a baby.
This year it means my girls first whole year.A whole year full of firsts.Watching N grow up and steal everyones hearts.In 2011 we will try solid foods,she will crawl and take her first steps.She will say her first words.
2010 started out as the worst year of my life. All of my friends had babies.Really,between Jan-Feb I went to the hospital to visit six of my close friends and their new borns. I found that my cousin and my worst enemy were pregnant. I cried myself to sleep face burried in pillow night after night.
Late March I found out that I was pregnant myself.You would think this would be automatic excitement.Not for me.I was devestated and in shock.Ofcourse I wanted to be pregnant! But I wanted to be really really pregnant,not scared and wondering if I was going to stay pregnant.
I have one tube completely blocked and the second is 80% blocked.Mostly from the endometriosis and some scar tissue from having cists removed and endo removed.No where in my mind did I imagine that this pregnancy would stick.The first thing that came to mind was it was a tubal pregnancy.I was bleeding and cramping,there had to be something wrong.Besides two doctors said I would never get pregnant.One gave me a two percent chance (hence the name of the bog)
When I had my first ultrasound and saw that there was a baby right where it belonged,already bouncing around (at 9 weeks she looked like a dancing gummy bear.The OB said she has always moved much earlier than normal) I bawled my eyes out.FINALLY!Finally,it's my turn.I get to be a mother.I get to rock my baby to sleep. I get to have a birth story.The perfect heart beat made my heart beat perfectly.I was in love.This was my baby.
My pregnancy was hell.I had morning sickness the entire pregnancy.My pelvic bone seperated.I had hypertension disorder.High blood pressure. And Pre-E.I loved every second of it. I felt cheated when it ended three weeks early.
October 25th 2010 was the best day of my life.My sweet angel was born.A miracle I never thought would happen.So for this,2010 was the best year of my life.
Maybe we can work on #2 in 2011???? hahahaha.

Happy new  year!!!!!!!