New years day to me used to mean another year with PCOS.Another year with Endometriosis.Another year of infertility and wishing to God that I could be "normal" and have a baby.
This year it means my girls first whole year.A whole year full of firsts.Watching N grow up and steal everyones hearts.In 2011 we will try solid foods,she will crawl and take her first steps.She will say her first words.
2010 started out as the worst year of my life. All of my friends had babies.Really,between Jan-Feb I went to the hospital to visit six of my close friends and their new borns. I found that my cousin and my worst enemy were pregnant. I cried myself to sleep face burried in pillow night after night.
Late March I found out that I was pregnant myself.You would think this would be automatic excitement.Not for me.I was devestated and in shock.Ofcourse I wanted to be pregnant! But I wanted to be really really pregnant,not scared and wondering if I was going to stay pregnant.
I have one tube completely blocked and the second is 80% blocked.Mostly from the endometriosis and some scar tissue from having cists removed and endo removed.No where in my mind did I imagine that this pregnancy would stick.The first thing that came to mind was it was a tubal pregnancy.I was bleeding and cramping,there had to be something wrong.Besides two doctors said I would never get pregnant.One gave me a two percent chance (hence the name of the bog)
When I had my first ultrasound and saw that there was a baby right where it belonged,already bouncing around (at 9 weeks she looked like a dancing gummy bear.The OB said she has always moved much earlier than normal) I bawled my eyes out.FINALLY!Finally,it's my turn.I get to be a mother.I get to rock my baby to sleep. I get to have a birth story.The perfect heart beat made my heart beat perfectly.I was in love.This was my baby.
My pregnancy was hell.I had morning sickness the entire pregnancy.My pelvic bone seperated.I had hypertension disorder.High blood pressure. And Pre-E.I loved every second of it. I felt cheated when it ended three weeks early.
October 25th 2010 was the best day of my life.My sweet angel was born.A miracle I never thought would happen.So for this,2010 was the best year of my life.
Maybe we can work on #2 in 2011???? hahahaha.
Happy new year!!!!!!!